Tales from the South West Turret
by heffermonkey
Summary: Gary and Neville man the South West Turret.  These are their stories.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**:Tales from the South West Turret

**Rating**: K+

**Characters/Pairings**: Gary & Neville implied

**Summary**: Gary and Neville are the guards of the South West Turret. Drabbles written from prompts for the 'Drabbles for the Rabble' party at the treatguardsrite comm.

**Disclaimer**: _Robin Hood_ is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

* * *

**Prompt – 'My Sword is bigger than Yours'**

"Cor blimey, one day I'm not gonna make it up those stairs, ey Nev," Gary said almost breathless after climbing up to the turret. "Nev?"

"Why that no good son of a – yeah well let's see what you make of this gesture you cheeky sod!"

Gary came fully onto the turret to find Nevile standing high on the battlement and sending a very rude gesture over to the South turret. Gary groaned and glanced over to the opposite turret to see Cyril sending back an equally rude gesture.

"Cyril and Henry on duty I see."

"Gonna punch that bloody, no good, dirty," Neville grumbled angrily back at Gary before lifting a finger at Cyril who looked equally angry.

"What's he done this time?" Gary asked waiting for Neville to calm down and climb down. He reached over and gave a tug of his chainmail, pulling him backwards.

"He just exists," Neville exclaimed lifting his arms in a all encompassing sigh, as if Cyril by his very existence, had merely been born to the world to make Neville's life miserable.

Not that Gary didn't understand. Life was quiet on the South West Turret, which was how he and Neville liked it. But it gave the other guards a chance to laugh at them any time they wanted. Seeing as Cyril and Henry manned the South turret they usually saw most of the action. Gary was amazed they'd lived this long. Neville hadn't finished with his ranting and turned back to Cyril who evidently thought he'd won in this small exchange of geturing.

"And another thing!" Neville yelled loudly, "My sword is bigger than yours!"

Gary raised his brows and chuckled at that. Coming closer to the edge he noticed Cyril evidently talking to Henry before turning back to them with a thunderous look. He didn't seem to have anything to reply to that. After a moment Cyril turned away sulking and Neville whooped victorious, turning away and doing a little dance. Gary saw Henry appear and give a shrug to which Gary replied equally.

Sometimes working with Neville and Cyril was like looking after a couple of children. Still Gary turned to Neville and gave him a grin, slapping him on the back happily, always pleased to get one over the South Turret.

"So, your swords bigger than his is it?" Gary said with a wink.

"You know it is," Neville said proudly. "Speared you with it plenty of times."

Gary could only chuckle and nod in agreement. There was no denying, Neville had one of the biggest ones in the shire.

* * *

**prompt – 'what time do you get off?'**

"What time do you get off?"

Gary couldn't help himself. Having taken a swig of mead when the question was asked, he ended up spitting it out accross the table in shock. Neville gave him a dig in the side and looked innocently at the new guy, Barney, who'd asked him the question. He evidently hadn't implied what Gary had took as his meaning.

"Um, we're on night duty on the South Turret," Neville replied.

"Oh, you guys get a lot of action up there?" Barney asked.

Gary couldn't help but snort into his mug. Neville even found it hard to keep a smile from his lips.

"No," he said clearing his throat as he felt Gary shaking with laughter beside him. "Not much."

"But you've got each other, bit of company," Barney said with a small frown at Gary who was trying to compose himself. "You two must be close."

"You have no idea," Neville replied with a knowing smile.

* * *

**prompt: - Guy's dirty little Secret**

"You know it's a good job he doesn't realise we can see right down into those quarters ain't it, he'd have our heads if he knew we knew," Neville said, straining his eyes to see closer.

Gary nodded and gave a chuckle as he watched Guy walk past the window. "How the hell does he fit into those dresses?"

prompt by lj user="robinfanatic" - Crush on Kate

"Get off me you big buffoon," Kate yelled wriggling on the ground.

Neville shook his head, his helmet jiggling as Gary ran to the doorway of the turret to check no-one else was coming.

"Let me up!" Kate exclaimed.

"She's a feisty one she is," Neville exclaimed as Kate writhed more. "Oi Gary, stop running around and come and help me!"

Gary slammed the door shut and ran over to help Neville, sitting on top of Kate along with him. After a moment they both looked at each other questioningly.

"Now what?"

* * *

**Prompt - Secret love for Outlaws**

"Look at them go," Gary said peering down at the courtyard. Robin was running along the battlement as his gang terrorised the guards chasing after them.

"Oop, there goes Harry, that's gonna hurt in the morning," Neville observed seeing Harry get struck in the back by John and his staff.

"They really are something aren't they those outlaws," Gary said approvingly watching the few men out wit the sheriffs many guards trying to defend themselves.

"Yup, I mean look at that Robin, where does he get the balls to do that?" Nevile replied, equally impressed by Robin's moves as he jumped down from the battlement slick as an eel, leaving Barney and Steve to backtrack and head down the steps after him.

"Allan is doing well for himself as well getting back into the gang. Was never right him following Gisborne about, it's like he was born to be an outlaw." Gary mused watching Allan fight of Barney and Steve before they coudl pursue Robin.

"You know, do you not think, I mean, do you ever think we should maybe, you know, help out?" Gary questioned after they fell silent and merely watched the action silently cheerig on Robin and his men.

The two both looked down at their bows and arrows lying carelessly on the ground at their feet.

"But that would mean they'd be at a disadvantage even more," reasoned Neville. "I mean they have enough to contend with without us adding to their problems."

"Yeah, you're right," Gary agreed.

Even though they knew it went against the very reason they were there, the two couldn't help but have a soft spot for the outlaws.


	2. Chapter 2

**Prompt – 'but I'm not asleep.'**

"What the bloody hell happened to you?" Gary asked Neville in concern as the man staggered onto the turret before slouching against the wall.

"He hit me." Neville said dazed, surprised.

"Who?" Gary asked, coming to his side and peering at him concerned.

"Robin," Neville replied.

Gary tried to ignore the quivering bottom lip and eyes that started glinting with the smallest sign of tears. He didn't want to dent Neville's pride.

"He hit you! Robin?" Gary exclaimed.

Neville nodded, "Yeah he just said something about waking up and I said 'But I'm not asleep' and then he, boof, hit me!"

Neville tried to keep his voice from sounding shaky. But really, Robin hitting him had been uncalled for. And so hard, hard enough to knock him out. If Robin had just given him a moment, Neville would have assured he'd stay quiet. But no, boof and ouch in one swift move. Neville was rather hurt, not just physically but emotionally too. Gary gave him a pat on the shoulder as his mate became a little distressed.

"S'not fair, what'd he go and hit me for? He leaves the Sheriff alone, oh yeah sure, spare him. But what did he have to hit me for? Think he loosened me tooth," Neville grumbled, poking at his gum and wincing. "It really hurt!"

Gary tried not to smile at the look, the 'hurt puppy dog, I want attention and lots of living kind of look'. Still he couldn't help falling for it, after all, Gary was his 'puppy dog', they looked out for each other. Who was Gary to withold some much needed care and attention to his best mate?

"There, there, tell you what, next time we see them outlaws running about the castle how about we make things a bit difficult for them. I'm not saying we hurt them or anything, but you know, give them some problems, knock a few things into their paths. We could even fire one or two arrows from here at them, just as a warning like, but you know, get back at Robin a bit. Would you like that?"

Neville sniffled and gave a nod of satisfaction.

"Now, let me have a look at that for you." Gary fussed and Neville dutifully turned his bruised cheek to him for inspection. "There now, let me kiss it better."

* * *

**Inspired by the scene in Season 3 Episode : 'Sins of the Father' when the Sheriff realises all his guards have gone from the castle.**

"He don't look too happy!" Neville whispered from their safe haven up above.

He and Gary peered down to see Vaizey walking through the courtyard in a distressed manner. Before Gary coudl reply they heard a almighty shout from the man.

"He has ALL of my men."

The two guards winced, even so far above Vaizey they heard his yell and anger quite clearly.

"I say we stay hidden up here until he calms down," Gary said scrambling back from where they peered down.

"Yeah, I'm with you," Neville nodded, a little too hard. His helmet slipped from his head and before he could stop it, it tipped over the turret and fell. "Oh, oh."

"Oh Nev!" Gary exclaimed.

"Oh Gary!" Neville wailed.

Peering over the side they tried to spy if Vaizey had noticed the thing tumbling to the ground. Gary gulped and Neville cowered down against the wall. But it was too late.

"YOU TWO!" Vaizey roared up at them. "Get your arses down here now, or I'm gonna come up there and throw you from that turret."

"Now you've done it you silly sod," Gary poked Neville hard and started scurrying for the door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," Neville wailed.

They ran down the steps two at a time for fear the Sheriff would start up the stairs. Running through the hall Gary came to a sudden halt and Neville ran into him with a bang. Vaizey stood before them, back ramrod straight, looking them over with a stern eye.

"Why are you two still here?" Vaizey asked, giving Gary a glare.

"We, we were doing our job Sheriff, sir, m'lord," Gary mumbled, always at a loss when talking to the Sheriff. "Manning the turret."

"Hmm," Vaizey rocked on his heels and looked them both up and down. "Well, I must say I have to commend you for not abandoning your posts, even if every other guard in this damned castle did."

Neville straightened up and looked pleased with himself. Gary was surprised at Vaizey's nice words. The Sheriff was never nice.

"I have some business to do, need to go find my tax collecter, find out what he's done with my money hmm, and my guards." Vaizey said, about to tell them to accompany him and deciding it was probably best to leave these two bumbling idiots out of his way.

"You," he said pointing to Neville.

"Me?" Neville replied blinking at the man.

"Mmm, yes, you can man the south tower," Vaizey said with a wave of his hand. "And you, you can man the south west tower."

Neville looked with shock at Gary. Man different turrets. Surely not!

"But, but, but," Gary said trying to find the words but Vaizey had lost interest in them and was walking away.

"But we always man the South Turret," Neville wailed as the Sheriff dissappeared back out into the courtyard. "What's he mean man different turrets? I ain't going on that South Turret, who knows what kind of mess Cyril and Henry have it in. What's he mean sending us to different turrets? We don't have to, do we Gary?"

Gary turned and gave Neville a push, hot footing it down the corridor. "No we don't Nev, what he don't know won't kill him."

"What?" Neville was confused but allowed Gary to push him along.

"Get your arse back upstairs, we're staying up there until the other lads get back. Man a different turret, he's got to be joking!"

* * *

**Prompt - We wanna be Outlaws**

Well it was a fine mess they'd gotten themselves into. Minding their own business one moment and captured unceremoniously by Robin and his men in another. After many protestations that they were in fact fans of the outlaws, that they usually minded their own business when they attacked the castle and generally fawned over how amazing Robin and his men were. Gary gave a gulp and decided to give it his best shot.

"We want to join you!" he exclaimed.

Neville nodded his head enthusiastically. It was true, they'd rather be on Robin's side than the Sheriffs. The Sheriff scared them and well, he just wasn't a nice person and Gary and Neville had come to the conclusion that working for not very nice people wasn't any fun. Gary was a little put out when the outlaws chuckled. Even Robin laughed and looked disbelieving.

"But we do!" Gary implored to the outlaw leader. "We don't like Vaizey, Gisborne is a bully and well, if it weren't for the fact that we need the money, we'd be long gone by now. Only, guarding is the only thing we're good at."

"And what would I want with a couple of guards?" Robin asked him.

Gary couldn't argue with that one and tried to think of another argument. "We can fight, we're trained."

"Ain't you the two from the south west turret?" Allan asked, looking at them closely. He recognised them, remembered that they pretty much did zilch up that tower. With a chuckle he shook his head at Robin, "Only thing those two are good at is lazing about doing nothing."

Neville gave him an angry stare. "We can fight, only, well we choose not too."

Robin gave another laugh, folding his arms and giving a shake of his head. "You choose not too?"

"Well, if we did, it would make your getting about the castle more difficult wouldn't it?" Gary told him in explanation. "We're up on the South West Turret, we don't get to see much of the action but we can defend from up there. Ever wonder why you aren't rained down by arrows when you're running about the south battlements?"

Robin gave this some thought. The man had a point. But again he shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't trust you."

"Why?" Neville moaned.

"Your Sheriff's men, I couldn't fully trust you." Robin explained.

"You trust him," Gary said with a nod towards Allan. "Took him back into your gang. You trust a traitor but you wouldn't give us a chance?"

"Oi," Allan said with a growl. "Watch it."

"He has a point," Much said with a shrug.

"Shut up Much," Allan told him and turned his back on the group put out.

"We're only asking for a chance." Gary said beseechingly to Robin. "You need insiders in this castle right? Well we can be those spies. The Sheriff and Gis barely know we're around most of the time anyway, they don't think us guards think, they just expect us to do their dirty work for them with closed ears. We don't even have to leave the castle to send you messages."

"How so?" Robin asked, starting to come round to the idea. The two men seemed genuine in their wanting to help the gang.

Neville and Gary gave each other a glance. They'd given this some thought.

"Well," started Neville. "As you know, we man the South West Turret. Well it's at a rather funny angle, but we can look down onto the courtyard."

"And the back of the castle, facing towards Clun. Well we can write notes, attach them to arrows and fire those arrows towards Clun, there's an old tree stump on the crossroad. We target that and send you the messages," added in Gary.

"We don't even have to leave the castle, thus no suspision can fall on us," Neville finished.

"You can't fire that far," Allan said, still put out.

"Oh please, it's easy. It isn't that far," replied Gary with a shrug.

"It's a fair distance," Robin said impressed. "You can guaruntee to hit the stump?"

"Four out of five times," Gary said proudly. "Five out of five for Nev though."

Neville tried not to look too proud, but it was true.

"If your such good shots, why would you be put on guard duty in that turret," Much said with a shake of his head. "Gisborne wouldn't waste his men like that."

"You really think we'd let Guy know how good we are?" Gary said with a laugh.

"Why wouldn't you?" Robin asked, knowing Much was right. It didn't make sense.

"He'd make us fight! He'd put us in the North turrets, that's where all the action happens." Neville replied, "My days of fighting are done. I'm tired of killing people and so is Gary, so we keep it on the low that we're actually fairly good with the bow and we got given South West Turret duty."

"What do you mean, days of fighting, tired of killing people?" Robin questioned looking at both men.

"You're not the only two to come home to Nottingham after being in the crusades." Neville replied solemnly. "Only we got hurt real bad in one battle. Didn't think we were gonna make it, but the King was moving the troops forward. Those of us who had survived but couldn't fight, we got sent home with the Kings blessing."

"Can't fight if you're laying up in a stretcher," Gary shrugged. "And the King waits for no man."

"And soyou ended up working for one of his enemies." Much snorted at the idea of it.

"How else we supposed to survive?" Gary said angrily. "Not all of us who followed the battle to the Holy Land came from nobles homes and money. We're poor men, there was no money working in the villages. Gisbone took us on because we were soldiers in the crusades. We just keep our heads down and try to get along best we can. We know Vaizey is a bad guy, but we eat, have a roof over our heads."

"Meanwhile the people of Nottingham, the villages, go hungry because the Sheriff takes their money. Not everyone is lucky enough to land a job at the castle," Robin argued, though he understood their plight, but he had given up his lands and nobility to help the people.

"We live in a small two roomed house in Pitt street. We survive on one wage and send the other to families who need it. We eat with the rest of the guards, two scanty meals a day, the rest of the time we get by with a few pennies to feed us every week." Neville argued back, "We do what we can. Not everyone is like you Hood, we are simple men, we do what little we can. We're offering our help, take it or leave it."

The gang had fell silent and Robin felt guilty for what he had said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He told them. Pausing he gave some thought to their suggestion. "All right, we'll give it a try. On a trial basis mind. Usually at least one of us comes to Nottingham every day to check things out, we'll start making a habit of coming in on the Clun road. If you have anything to tell us, we'll test your idea out. An arrow on the stump, message attached."

Gary and Neville couldn't believe their luck. Robin had Much and Allan untie them both. Shaking their hands he hoped he'd made the right choice.

"This mean we're part of your gang?" Neville asked excitedly.

"Trial run, remember," Robin reminded him. "We'll see how it goes. Any funny business and I'll personally make sure neither of you ever leave that turret."

Gary and Neville nodded their heads, but they still beamed. True to their word they started sending messages via the new system. Usually every day they sent messages down to the gang, unheeded, undiscovered by Guy or the Sheriff. A few weeks later Neville climbed onto the turret for the start of a shift to find Gary studying an arrow wedged firmly into a nook of the turret walls.

"Where'd that come from?" he asked as Gary peered out from the turret towards the crossroad.

"It's from Robin," he said turning with a grin.

Neville noticed something small attached to the arrow and carefully removed it. Carefully he unwrapped the small package to find two tags, Robin's personal seal of approval. Grinning Neville held the tags up by their leather lacings.

They were in the gang.


End file.
